literature

A Canadian Christmas Carol

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Literature Text

NL: On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A cod fish falling for the bait!

PE: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Two green roofs!

NL: And a cod fish falling for the bait!

NS: On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Three bottles of Keith's!

PE: Two green roofs!
NL: And a cod fish falling for the bait!

NB: On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Four bilinguals!

NS: Three bottles of Keith's!
PE: Two green roofs!
NL: And a cod fish falling for the bait!

QC: Au cinquième jour de Noël, mon amour m'a envoyé:
Cinq maudits Anglais !

NB : Four bilinguals!
NS: Three bottles of Keith's!
PE: Two green roofs!
NL: And a cod fish falling for the bait!

ON: On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Six CN Towers!

QC: Cinq maudits Anglais!
NB : Four bilinguals!
NS: Hey, am I allowed to drink these?
PE: Two green roofs!
NL: And a cod fish falling for the bait!

MB: On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Seven friendly slogans!

ON: Six CN Towers!
QC: Cinq maudits Anglais!
NB : Four bilinguals!
NS: Three bottles of Keith's!
PE: Two green roofs!
NL: And a cod fish falling for the bait!

SK: On the eight day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Eight bushels of wheat!

MB: Seven friendly slogans!
ON: Six CN Towers!
QC: Cinq maudits Anglais!
NB : Sh-should I start singing in French now?
NS: Three bottles of Keith's!
PE: Two green roofs!
NL: And a cod fish falling for the bait!

AB: On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Nine cattle ranches!

SK: Eight bushels of wheat!
MB: Seven friendly slogans!
ON: Six CN Towers!
QC: Cinq maudits Anglais!
NB : Four bilinguals!
NS: Three bottles of Keith's!
PE: Two green roofs!
NL: And a cod fish falling for the bait!

BC: On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Ten activist movements!

AB: Nine cattle ranchers!
SK: Eight bushels of wheat!
MB: Seven friendly slogans!
ON: Six CN Towers!
QC: Est-ce qu'on peut arreter? (ALL: NO!)
NB : Four bilinguals!
NS: Three bottles of Keith's!
PE: Two green roofs!
NL: And a cod fish falling for the bait!

YT: On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Eleven gold rushes!

BC: Ten…hey, wait a minute!
AB: Nine cattle ranchers!
SK: Eight bushels of wheat!
MB: Seven friendly slogans!
ON: Six CN Towers!
QC: Ontario, t'es poche! (ON: Hey, what I do?)
NB : Four bilinguals!
NS: Three bottles of Keith's!
PE: Two green roofs!
NL: And a cod fish falling for the bait!

NWT: On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
NU: Hey, why don't I get a turn? (NWT: Well…)

YT: Eleven gold rushes.
BC: What are you doing to those trees, you morons?
AB: Whoa, dude, calm down.
SK: Um, what's going on?
MB: BC, oh my God!
ON: Holy crap, it's snowing again!
QC: Shut the hell up!
NB: Everyone, on se calme!
NS: -laughs drunkenly-
PE: Every single year…

All: And a cod fish falling for the bait!

Canada: Well…at least we finished this year…
Yes, this is late as hell for Christmas.
Yes, this is stupid as hell.
Yes this is long as hell.

This is also why I shouldn't be given free time in history class.
:I

So, enjoy an incredibly late christmas carol. I need to go sleep now and stop being stupid.
As if that would ever happen...

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